"Rape culture is a culture in which people who have survived a violent crime are asked to laugh about it because other people think it’s funny."
This is what my friend sent me, regarding the word Fetish. He wanted me to write something about Racial Fetishes, and being that I just experienced the dangers of racial fetishes he thought I’d be the best person to do it. Or better than him at least, being that I just recently went through this.
Now, regarding Racial Fetishes I am sure you have seen them before. Normally they take one stereotype, or put a huge emphasis on features of that racial group. For example:
Now, there are multiple other examples as to how people are turned into fetishes, but those two are just the first ones I came across. If you haven’t noticed already, any one can be turned into a fetish and when it comes to races they are from what I have seen racist. But why is turning a race into a fetish racist? Well, lets look back up at the picture my friend provided me with.
“A form of sexual desire in which gratification depends to an abnormal degree on some object or item of clothing or part of the body.”
I would like to point out the key words here which are “Object” and “Item”. A sexual fetish isn’t a human, it isn’t an living creature. A fetish from what I am understanding is an “abnormal” sexual desire towards an “object” or “Item”. Do you realize how that’s racist yet? If not let me explain: A human being is not an object, a human being is not an item. A human being has feelings, thoughts, emotions. A human being is a living creature with the ability to say yes, or no. If you are making lets say Asian women or Black women into a fetish you are dehumanizing them. You are looking at them for their race, not as a human being. You are looking at their race as just an object/item, that the people in that group are objects/items. That is racist, because right there you are thinking they are less superior than you (in this world we view humans more superior than objects/items).
Now one thing I also told my friend I would do is explain why this is dangerous. You must understand that when we view something less than, we don’t think about their rights. Take animals for example, yes animals do have some rights and are protected in some way but there are not viewed as equal as humans. They get manipulated and used in ways that humans would not be treated in, that is dangerous towards animals. Lets take Black people during Slavery (and Yes I know in some cases even now), Black slaves were not even considered humans. They were constantly compared to animals, they were saw as less superior. They were able to be used, abused, raped, killed, and there wasn’t any justice.
Pin pointing this down to my own experiences, I am a Black woman who was raped by a White Man. I did not find this white man attractive, because I do not like him as a person. This white man had came onto me the first day I met him in a very sexual manner, he didn’t take any time to get to know me as a person. He stated he “Likes Black and Asian women because of the way his cum looks on their skin.” He didn’t rape me because he liked me as a person, he raped me because I was solely a fetish to him. He didn’t come onto me because of who I am as a person, he didn’t really take any time to figure that out. He came onto me because I have brown skin, and he wanted to go forth with acting on his fetish.
Of course the subject of Male entitlement comes in, but this is just an example of how a Fetish can be dangerous. When you don’t really pursue a person for a person, you don’t respect the person. You don’t care about the person. You don’t think about what the person wants. You are selfish, and you are acting on entitlement that you THINK you have. A human is not entitled to another human. When a person has these thought patterns, situations become dangerous.
I hope this at least summed up why turned people/humans into fetishes is wrong. I hope you guys understand why this is dangerous. I hope people will correct their patterns of thinking after this post.
this is how you do anti-rape campaign posters.
Literally like the only way
mostmen can think of a woman as a person who shouldn’t be raped and abused is by thinking of her as “someone’s daughter”, “someone’s wife”, “someone’s sister”, etc. They can’t just think of her as a woman unto herself who SHOULD NOT BE RAPED WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS A SINGLE ORPHANED ONLY CHILD, that would be weird. She must belong or be connected to someone in some way in order to be a person worthy of respect.
Indian Gang Rape Protests
New Delhi & Kolkata
December 27, 2012
AP Photo/Altaf Qadri
"In our culture almost everyone, irrespective of skin color, associates white supremacy with extreme conservative fanaticism, with Nazi skinheads who preach all the only stereotypes about racist purity. Yet these extreme groups rarely threaten the day-to-day workings of our lives. It is the less extreme white supremacists’ beliefs and assumptions, easier to cover up and mask, that maintain and perpetuate everyday racism as a form of group oppression."
I actually have a piece I wrote like this one about being kinky after being abused sexually (it might never see the light of day though because it cuts a little close to the bone for me to let people comment on it), and I am so glad to see that someone was able to voice that there is life after. I am so tired of the meme that we’re damaged goods fit only for pity. I’m lightweight proud of XO Jane for running it.
This was amazing. I always have problems being intimate (with men) because of what’s happened to me. This was an amazing piece.
Same. This was very close to home for me, given how it took me years to reclaim my sexuality after being abused.
Do feminist bloggers realize that misandry (in terms of rape/sexual harassment) is actually blatant gay/ace erasure?
It’s not misandry to say “The vast majority of sexual assaults happen against people who are not cis men” or “The vast majority of rapists and sexual…
Sorry, I guess I wasnt clear with what I was getting at. I was referring to feminist bloggers who proudly declare themselves misandrists and make umbrella statements saying they dont trust “men” because of rape/sexual assault-related oppression. Only saying “men” without clarifying that they mean het cis men is erasure of the identities of ace and gay males, who, of course, would not commit sexual assault against a woman. Sorry for any confusion I caused.
Hold up. It is possible for an asexual or gay man to sexually assault or harass a woman. Rape and sexual harassment have nothing to do with sexual attraction, so it does not ”erase” asexual and gay men. Also, trans men can absolutely be rapists.
As a non-binary person, I have trouble trusting men regardless of sexual orientation or trans status. Making a broad statement is not automatically erasure, especially if I mean the statement to be as broad as it sounds.
Agreeing with Hez. Ace men are men. Gay men are men. PERIOD. I don’t trust men because men have sexually harassed me for the majority of my life. Can I tell if someone is a gay or ace man by just looking at them? No. Therefore it doesn’t matter to me. They are men and they make me feel unsafe. And my safety comes before their feelings.
There is also a thing with gay men declaring “I’m gay! Therefore let me intrude on your space and touch you inappropriately and make creepy comments and you can’t get mad because hey I’m gay so I’m totally not attracted to you, so that makes it okay!”
Yes, I’ve dealt with this.
^ Ditto what Toranse said. I have witnessed it too.
What kind of fucking logic
“Rape is a criminal act whatever the circumstances. A woman riding the subway nude may be guilty of indecency, but she may not be raped. If she invites or even sells sex at 10:00 and refuses it at 10:45, the partner who disregards her refusal and forces sex is guilty of rape. If she is drunk, asleep, mentally defective, paralyzed or dead, she must not be raped. Why? Because sexual congress must be by consent.”
- Toni Morrison
The military agrees, Ms. Morrison.