TW: Fatphobic motivated violence
I WISH A MOTHERFUCKER WOULD. WHAT THE FUCK
My first reaction to this photo was disgust. Then humiliation. Shame. Rage. Sadness. I thought about all the ways I could have looked better. Not allowing all my fat to shift to the left. Adjusting my tits so they’re closer and my shy nipples are visible. Arching my back. Hiding my arm fat. Molding my body into a better visual.
I know this will be reblogged by people who find me repulsive. I know this will be reblogged by people searching for thinspiration. I know I’ll be laughed at and judged and mocked.
I remember, a few years back, when I was braver about my body. When I posted pictures of myself in my underwear even though I knew half the internet was going to rip me to shreds. But I did it anyway. Smirking and shrugging and saying hi to Something Awful in the photos.
This past year I’ve had guys be interested in me and then decide I was just TOO fat. And none of them bothered to use any kindness in telling me so. I’ve slowly curled inwards. Back to yanking down my sleeves and wishing I were different.
This is a new year. I’m going to love myself and accept my body, no matter how much it changes and shifts as it tries to find its home.
I saved this picture. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because it’s the only self-taken photo in which I’m not trying. Not trying to look better. Not trying to hide anything. It’s raw and vulnerable.
And it’s me.
So this is very important to me. Ms. SugarYumYum over here was one of the first fierce fat political women I came across on the internet, way way WAY back in the day when I used LiveJournal and still referred to myself with horrible names and had no faith in my fat. Since then, I’ve followed her all over the place like a little puppy, even to Tumblr! And I look at how far I’ve come, and I truly want to give her props for helping me on my journey.
Her compassion is contagious. Her knowledge is extensive. Her politics are right on. Her sexcapades are out of control awesome. Her journey is inspiring. Her heart is true. Her path is proud. Her body is hers and she’s owning it. Her fight is my fight.
I want body positive folks reblogging this post to outweigh (pun intended, nom!) the thinspiration and asshats that may take advantage of such an open and honest and unapologetic stance on self acceptance.
So this is me, just saying HI, and I love that I know you, and I love learning more about you every day. Cheers to you, girl. YOU A BADASS BITCH!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I am here for this.
<3 infinite love to both of you.
It’s this kind of attitude and this kind of strength that truly inspires people because it goes against everything society has tried to teach us our entire lives. In the past I would have called you disgusting and gross because I truly hated myself and was disgusted by my own fat. But it has been the powerfully confident people here on tumblr that helped me change the ways I see other people and to truly see my body as beautiful! Rock on sister, you are fucking amazing!!!
I also want to work on taking honest pictures of my body. It’s so difficult because I know I adjust/pose my body to look more acceptable unconsciously, and I need to unlearn all that shit.
A helpful starting guide to body positivity.
It’s also a lot about having to freedom to modify your body in anyway that contents you and/or not judging others for the way they modify their bodies. I say this because I have a lot of body positive content on my blog, but body positivity can be really alienating to Trans* folks. Like, sure, loving the skin you’re in is great and everything, but if you don’t - that’s also totally cool and you shouldn’t have to accept that. I just think that’s really important and gets left out of a lot of body positive stuff.
This is me and my girlfriend at the time, I was laughing and she caught this picture of us. We both have fat arms and at first I hated this picture, but now I don’t mind this picture one bit! :)
My fat body.
This was a couple of days after leaving the hospital following a 90mph combined impact with another vehicle. We took photos of my injuries for legal documentation (also why I haven’t posted this til now). I won’t go into detail about some of my other injuries, because I just want you to see what the seatbelt did to my body. And what you can’t see under the skin. My doctor in the trauma unit told me that I had some internal muscle and organ bruising as well. Taking the photos was the first time in days I had been on my feet. I was also seeing my body for the first time since the accident.
What I saw was the fat that I had been ashamed of all my life taking the impact of the seatbelt and saving my organs from further trauma. My car had no airbags, but It was because of my own body’s cushion I was able to crawl out of the passenger side of my vehicle and run down the road to wave down help (adrenaline is also an amazing pain killer).
I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately because of my friends’ New Years resolutions to lose weight and I’m just sitting there unable to force myself to do something like that on purpose.
I just wanted to post this to remind people that fat isn’t just something cosmetic. Fat has biological purposes: one of them is protection.
It’s been 5 months and I’m still healing, but to all those assholes who claim my fat is going to kill me… I feel like it’s already saved me.
I could live in this onesie forever!
It’s so comfy!
CUTIE CUTIE CUTIE CUTIE CUTIEEEEEE
Target, you did me good today. Don’t mind the mess, or the hair or lack of makeup.
Dresses were 9.98 each
Skirts were 5.98 each
Cami was 3 bucks.
I can’t beat it, but I would like to steal it! um also how is your hair so long already?? YOU ARE MADE OF MAGIC!
I think my least favorite thing about the fat acceptance movement is when white people act like it is more difficult to be a white fat person than a fat person of color.
There was this post in the fatshion tag a while back about this women complaining about who the nearest store that had clothes in her size was in the ‘getto’ and she wanted acknowledgement that white women could be fat too. She didn’t want to go shop next to the scary brown women to get her bras.
And this one time there was an article about this plus size fashion show were most, or all of the models were people of color. And someone left a comment like, “That’s nice, but what about positive body image for white women?” I shit you not. Someone said that.
What white people have to understand is that society’s beauty standards are in favor of whiteness. Being fat does not erase you white privilege by any means. Being fat does not mean you experience anything similar to racism.
People of color get to have spaces. We get to have our fashion shows. We get to not need to cater to whiteness all the goddamn time.
Nearly every body positive space I have seen is run by white people and most of the contributors are white people. White people, you have your space. Don’t complain when we won’t let you into ours.