*gives you a lap dance for curly fries*
compliments from girls are so much more satisfying than compliments from guys
cute recognize cute

Kinder Egg: The men’s rooms need sanitary dispensers.
Megatron: That’s radical!
Kinder Egg: I’m fucking radical.
searching my own tag. wtf is my life

You had me at “Which pronouns do you prefer?”

chopped em off
I don’t understand boyfriend. I will literally tell him I think he’s the cutest person ever and that I hate his glasses or his shirt in the same hour and he still likes me.